Acceptance

I ordered this survival guide hoping to learn a bit more about chemo and radiation therapies. I was a little bit underwhelmed by the book because either I already know most of the stuff, or I don't quite agree with their suggestions. The chapter on "Mind and Body", however, turns out to be an unexpected good one. Here is one paragraph from this chapter:

The necessity of thinking positively is a myth. The whole spectrum of emotions, from negative to positive, is unavoidable and necessary. Not letting yourself feel how you feel, or getting upset at yourself being angry or sad, can backfire and cause you to feel even worse that you did before. On the other hand, a good cry or yell often is relieving and healing. Feelings provide us with vital information. Denying them or keeping them inside may in fact be the unhealthy choice.

This reminds of me something I read some time back: I was quite impressed with that post so that I could scoop it up pretty quickly. It talks about something along the same line: don't fight your feelings, accept them instead. Here are some excerpts:

Once we realize that its normal to feel all kinds of emotion and the only thing that pro-longs them or cuts them short is our mind fighting with them. For instance when your feeling irritable, scared or angry its normal and can be triggered by anything and is usually out of your control. Just as we have good days and bad days. These feelings if left alone and allowed to flow through your body would normally pass, they may not feel nice but they are natural emotions. What pro-longs them is our resistance to them its when we start fighting and fearing these feelings. When we start arguing in our minds saying “I should not feel like this, I want to feel relaxed, Why do I get frustrated so easily” all these questions and thoughts of resistance will pro-long the negative emotion and cause more suffering until something distracts you or things burn out after hours of internal fighting.

Sure you will feel negative emotions from time to time and they don’t feel nice. Just accept them, admit to yourself that’s how your feeling right now and don’t question them don’t start that internal fight inside your head, just let the emotions flow and feel them rush through your body. Once you start doing this you will see that you will start feeling less and less negative emotions and your mind will sway towards what it likes best……..Happiness!

I might add a little trick here based on good neuroscience actually. When you feel a bit down and moody, usually it's right brain that is in control. If you can get yourself into doing something procedural and detail-oriented, that would force you to use your left brain, which in turn will take the control from right brain. As the result, that change of mind will usually lift you out of the blues.